Note from the Editors: The following is a poem submitted by a reader of the AS Review. To submit your own writing, photography or art, email as.review@wwu.edu. We appreciate your submissions.
“Perhaps”
By Thomas A. Middlane
It was Hell.
From elementary to my tenth year always looking over my shoulder
Mocked, Jeered, Yelled At, Slapped, Brought Down
But I came into my own
Western became my escape, THE haven of learning and understanding.
Four years later, Hell followed, more terrible, more furious.
Constantly aware of my surroundings, not comfortable anywhere
Watching my words and movements; Silencing opinions and beliefs
Fearful if anyone discovers who I am
Harassed for not being Western’s mainstream
Told my race excludes me
Told my gender excludes me
Told my sexuality excludes me
Told I am the cause of all the world’s injustices
Fighters for Justice,
I love you and I hate you!
i want you to succeed and I want you to fail!
I admire you and I disdain you!
You are my friends, but you frighten me!
I hate myself for how I feel about you!
Furious with myself for wanting your failure!
Disgusted by my indecision, fear, anger!
I know I have privileges available to me that few have
And I torment myself most of all for my privileges.
Perhaps, I deserve punishment for actions of my ancestors
Perhaps Hell is where I belong
Perhaps.