By Gwen Frost
Dear love column,
So I have an STD… I went to the Health Center and was diagnosed with Herpes (genital), and now I feel really conflicted about how to engage with my sexuality. Should I tell every new person I hook up with about this? Even if I don’t have sores, I’m scared people will think it’s disgusting and gross… how should I go about this? My doctor said I didn’t need to contact ex-partners but I feel like they should know… what do I do?
-Help
Dear Help,
According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), one out of six people in the United States aged 14 to 49 has genital herpes originating from the HSV-2 virus (this statistic of genital herpes would be even higher if it took into account genital herpes contracted through oral sex and the HSV-1 virus). Further, 50 to 80 percent of U.S. adults have oral herpes, according to the Johns Hopkins Medicine Library, which is called HSV-1.
The initial outbreak of genital herpes is typically the worst one that individuals have- so if you’ve already had an outbreak, the good news is that it probably will not be that bad again. I want you to know that this is a very common disease, and it doesn’t say anything about you other than you just happen to be the one of six people with genital herpes.
If you’re thinking about engaging in sex, and are symptomatic, you absolutely need to inform your partner, because the likelihood of giving your partner herpes is particularly high during this time (The Herpes Resource Center.)
Wearing a condom lowers your likelihood of contracting herpes, but it does not extinguish it, according to the CDC. Even if a person with HSV- 2 isn’t showing symptoms, the virus still sheds 10 percent of the time from male to female, even when asymptomatic, according to the Journal of American Medical Association in 2011. For female to male transmission, the likelihood in these circumstances is 4 percent.
Having genital herpes can be extremely dangerous if you are having sex with someone who has the HIV virus, because it dramatically increases your chances of contracting HIV. Additionally, having a genital herpes outbreak during delivery and the third trimester could potentially (rarely) result in death of the event due to neonatal herpes.
Many people engage in sex with herpes and manage to not infect others with usage of medicine, avoidance during outbreaks and condoms. This reality is so freaking common for people, but the stigma probably has left you feeling a little isolated.
Infections spread when people don’t want to say that have them. Personally, I think you should give people the option that maybe you weren’t given, if it’s safe to do so. To be able to weigh the balance of risking a small chance of contracting the HSV-2 virus with the option of sexual intimacy.
I know this sounds hard, and it might be easier to just not do it and hope for the best, but sex always has risks, and every participant has a right to know just what those risks are.
So I have an STD… I went to the Health Center and was diagnosed with Herpes (genital), and now I feel really conflicted about how to engage with my sexuality. Should I tell every new person I hook up with about this? Even if I don’t have sores, I’m scared people will think it’s disgusting and gross… how should I go about this? My doctor said I didn’t need to contact ex-partners but I feel like they should know… what do I do?
-Help
Dear Help,
According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), one out of six people in the United States aged 14 to 49 has genital herpes originating from the HSV-2 virus (this statistic of genital herpes would be even higher if it took into account genital herpes contracted through oral sex and the HSV-1 virus). Further, 50 to 80 percent of U.S. adults have oral herpes, according to the Johns Hopkins Medicine Library, which is called HSV-1.
The initial outbreak of genital herpes is typically the worst one that individuals have- so if you’ve already had an outbreak, the good news is that it probably will not be that bad again. I want you to know that this is a very common disease, and it doesn’t say anything about you other than you just happen to be the one of six people with genital herpes.
If you’re thinking about engaging in sex, and are symptomatic, you absolutely need to inform your partner, because the likelihood of giving your partner herpes is particularly high during this time (The Herpes Resource Center.)
Wearing a condom lowers your likelihood of contracting herpes, but it does not extinguish it, according to the CDC. Even if a person with HSV- 2 isn’t showing symptoms, the virus still sheds 10 percent of the time from male to female, even when asymptomatic, according to the Journal of American Medical Association in 2011. For female to male transmission, the likelihood in these circumstances is 4 percent.
Having genital herpes can be extremely dangerous if you are having sex with someone who has the HIV virus, because it dramatically increases your chances of contracting HIV. Additionally, having a genital herpes outbreak during delivery and the third trimester could potentially (rarely) result in death of the event due to neonatal herpes.
Many people engage in sex with herpes and manage to not infect others with usage of medicine, avoidance during outbreaks and condoms. This reality is so freaking common for people, but the stigma probably has left you feeling a little isolated.
Infections spread when people don’t want to say that have them. Personally, I think you should give people the option that maybe you weren’t given, if it’s safe to do so. To be able to weigh the balance of risking a small chance of contracting the HSV-2 virus with the option of sexual intimacy.
I know this sounds hard, and it might be easier to just not do it and hope for the best, but sex always has risks, and every participant has a right to know just what those risks are.
Check out this support forum: https://herpeslife.com/