The Eastern Back is a yearly publication by the staff of the AS Review. Anything contained here probably isn’t true- unless it is. Happy April Fool’s week!
Wrinkles, Ryan, Dashiel, Preemie and Katy. Courtesty of WTA
By Gwen Frost
The bus system in Bellingham has been far from perfect for years. But all that is going to change with Katy, Wrinkles, Moonstar, Ryan, Dashiel and Preemie.
That’s right. Six horses are set to to take the place of transportation for the city of Bellingham starting June 17.
These horses are well-trained, and have spent the previous years of their life at Summer Green Race Course. Instead of hopping into a giant metal box, the City of Bellingham now offers you the chance to saddle-up and yeehaw.
Bellingham’s mayor expressed excitement for “an idea that everybody should get behind.”
“People are always complaining about having to stand on busses, or problems with fare,” said Mayor Kelli Linville. “Horses are very hard to stand on, ask my shattered fibula.”
Students are shocked.
Said Sophomore Dean Meisler, “I mean, how fast are the horses really?”
Meisler later admitted to having never even seen a horse.
Senior Andrew Grey is satisfied with moving towards more renewable energy as a city.
“Besides their mainly carnivorous diet, horses impact most ecosystems very minimally,” said Grey. “However, people should definitely keep their pets indoors once the horses are let loose. Also small children. These horses may be incredible transportation devices, but they’re out for blood.”