Sex and the mid-sized university

By Gwen Frost

This school year has brought squirting into my life way more than any other sex thing. People around me seem to be squirting all the time, and I’m curious; how does it work and how do I join the club? Where do I buy tarps?
Sincerely,
Seeking to Squirt

Dear Seeking to Squirt,

Queen! Well you just might be one of the 10-40 percent of female-bodied people who experience squirting.

In 1904, our friend Havelock Ellis discovered something called the Gräfenberg’s spot. He thought that when womxn masturbated touching this erogenous zone, that the squirting phenomenon that some of them experience was female ejaculation.

Then in 1982, scientists discovered that the the G spot originated from the Skene’s glands, making the female G-spot the equivalent to the male prostate.

The fluid secreted is both urine and female prostate secretion, and female-bodied people experience it with orgasm in volumes ranges from 2 to 150 mL. This stuff isn’t new either; there are actually writings from 4th Century China describing female ejaculation.

The G-spot is also associated with the internal structure of the clitoris (which actually looks kind of like a wishbone).

Here is a step-by-step guide to squirting:

  1. Try to be relaxed. Orgasms are like raccoons, they can always sense the tension in a situation, and will rarely show themselves.
  2. Remember that you are not about to pee straight urine all over your bed or someone else.
  3. This is normal and totally cool. People with penises’ are little covering the Earth with their semen, don’t be afraid to add a little femme magic into the mix.
  4. If it’s your or someone else’s finger, doesn’t matter- enter the vagina with one or two fingers, to the knuckles or a little less, and do the come-hither motion with your palm facing the ceiling.
  5. Get into a good rhythm, back and forth, with a little bit of in-and-out if you’re into that.
  6. It never hurts to say what’s-up to the clitoris with your mouth.
  7. Wait for the magic!
  8. Say Boo-ya if you do it, and say Boo-ya if you don’t!

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