Valentine’s Day graphic. Stella Harvey // AS Review
By Stella Harvey
It’s that time of year again. Cheesy red heart-shaped boxes line store shelves while pink and red seem to seep into every corner of life. Valentine’s Day can be a weird time for people, single or in relationships, because it puts a spotlight on the way we care for ourselves and others. Whether you love or hate the Hallmark holiday, many of us could do with some more self-care practices that go beyond unaffordable spa days.
“The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman explores five different ways people communicate their love. Chapman explains that we each give and receive love differently, and understanding what makes you feel loved can help build more long-lasting relationships. Applying the five love languages to self-care habits can help us understand how to best care for ourselves, especially during a lovey-dovey time like Valentine’s Day. Instead of rushing out and buying your loved ones everything in the holiday aisle of Rite-Aid, consider practicing self-love in the following ways.
Words of affirmation
We use words to make others feel good all the time by giving compliments or building up the people we love, but often, we’re not as nice to ourselves. Our inner critics come out to give us a hard time, and sometimes that’s okay because we want to work hard and succeed. But when criticism outweighs praise for all of the good things we do, it might be time to work on words of affirmation.
At its core, using words of affirmations with yourself is about acknowledging all of the good things you do. It can be as simple as saying to yourself, “I’m really proud of how I’ve been juggling school, a job and making time for friends. I’ve got a lot on my plate and I’m doing my best.”
Some psychologists say speaking to yourself in the mirror can boost your confidence over time. If you’re not into speaking to yourself, try writing yourself positive messages or drawing a picture! Make a little valentine for yourself as a reminder that you are worthy of love and respect.
Acts of service
In the context of a relationship, this means going out of your way to do something you know your partner or loved one will appreciate. With yourself, it means taking extra time to care for yourself in ways big or small. This will look different for everyone because we all have different ways of taking care of our bodies and minds.
If you don’t always have time to make yourself a nice meal, then spend time cooking your favorite dinner or preparing snacks for the week. If a clean space makes you feel relaxed and happy, then straighten up your room and put away your laundry so when the day is over you have a calm space to settle down.
It might feel weird at first to think of these mundane tasks as treating yourself, but in the long-run, these are everyday forms of self-care that set you up for a happier, more loving relationship with yourself.
Quality time
As college students, it can be hard to find time to just be a person. Between school, work and making time for the people we love, we don’t always get very much time alone. On top of that, even when we are alone, we’re bombarded with social media’s constant call. While endless scrolling or going on a deep dive through an ex’s Instagram can feel very rewarding in the moment, sometimes our brains and bodies need a break.
Think of something you love, but don’t always have time to do. Reserve the afternoon to read a book (that’s not for school), give yourself the time to take a long shower or paint your nails. It could also look as simple as taking time out of your day to listen to music, journal or take a long nap. You do you.
Physical touch
At its core, physical touch is about making your body feel good. For some people, going to the gym and moving their bodies will make them feel happy and cared for. If that’s not your thing, no worries! Take a few moments to stretch out your body instead.
Face masks and skincare have become cliche forms self-care, but pampering yourself can also be a legitimate component of caring for your body. Treating yourself to a face mask doesn’t have to cost a lot of money, either. There are many recipes online that will walk you through how to create homemade skincare products with things you might already have in your kitchen. Learning what makes your body feel good and doing more of it is a great way to integrate self-love into your everyday life all year round.
Gift giving
I know, I know. Spending money on Valentine’s Day gifts is what everyone already does, but if buying a new jacket or a slice of cake makes you feel good, that’s okay! Treat yourself! If you’re on a super tight budget, remember that it really is the thought that counts when it comes to giving gifts. Refer to some of the items above and remember that devoting time to yourself, doing things for yourself are also acts of giving, without the pretty wrapping paper and bows.
No matter which way you choose to love yourself this Valentine’s Day and the remainder of the year, you can do it while listening to our Valentine’s Day playlist, crafted to lift you up all year round.