Couch scam exposed

Taking prioritizing sleep to the next level

By Hailey Murphy

In a shocking turn of events, the couch on the west side of Wilson’s Library 5th floor is not actually reserved, as confirmed by a library employee.

Tucked back in a corner, on the library’s quietest floor, this purple couch is undeniably a supreme place to take a nap. Due to its proximity to Zoe’s and it’s beautiful view of the VU construction, it may even take precedence over other prime nap locations.

It appears that one innovative student noticed this themselves and decided to take action. For at least three weeks, according to my eye witness account, a sign has loomed over the couch,  professing false information to students of all majors.

The sign claims that the couch is reserved, each day, from 2:00 to 3:30 pm.

“Thank you for your cooperation,” reads the sign. “Couch will become available to all starting beginning of spring quarter.”

The sophisticated design, featuring graduation clipart and a soft blue gradient, was likely part of a ploy to keep away suspicion. It appears to have worked because not one, not two, but three library employees knew nothing about the sign.

According to a manager at the circulation desk, all signs posted by students, without permission, are taken down. Had any staff been aware, it would have been removed.

“At least it’s not vandalism,” said the manager after seeing the sign.

While the identity of the perpetrator remains unknown, the AS Review will not cease in it’s hunt for the truth.

For now, thanks to our local heroes, the sign has been removed.

(Please don’t get any ideas. Library students and staff are inconvenienced by hijinx everyday.)

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