The Eastern Back is a yearly publication by the staff of the AS Review. Anything contained here probably isn’t true- unless it is. Happy April Fool’s week!
Who said Honors kids don’t have fun?
At 2:13 a.m. on Friday, March 16, University Police shut down a dorm party in Edens Hall. Several students, all with 3.99 GPAs, were taken to the local police station and held overnight after being charged with MIPs.
“Saying that Honors kids don’t throw ragers is such a stereotype,” Amelia Kidd, a freshman in the Honors program and resident of Edens said. “Even though we are the cream of the crop of this school, that doesn’t mean we don’t need a little de-stressing too. Taking 20 credits a quarter and maintaining your D&D groups is no walk in the park, you know.”
The students in the program are not the only ones defending their right to party.
“Normally we would be disappointed in students participating in this kind of behavior,” said Director of Communications and Marketing Paul Cocke. “But since this was done by Honors students, we have decided that no further punishment should be inflicted.”
It was later reported that the students were released from the police station without even a warning once the officers discovered their superior status at Western.
Additionally, Western’s administration has decided to make the patio area on the second floor of Edens an “unwinding” zone. In other words, residents will be able to mingle with their peers whilst sipping on their alcohol of choice.
The only restrictions on this new privilege are that the conversations must be intellectual and that the only students allowed to participate are those in the Honors program.
“Honors students are top notch, and they work so much harder than everyone. Especially in those Honors classes they have to take,” said Cocke. ”They are highly sophisticated and intelligent and therefore can be trusted with this. I would even go so far as to say that they deserve this. We just can’t risk giving the same opportunity to any other Western students, for obvious reasons.”
The Honors Program has come under scrutiny recently after a non-honors student was tased for attempting to use the free printing in the Honor’s Lounge. Admins close to the program say they think the new program will help put that behind them and return things to their “natural order.”
The Eastern Back is a yearly publication by the staff of the AS Review. Anything contained here probably isn’t true- unless it is. Happy April Fool’s week!