The Eastern Back is a yearly publication by the staff of the AS Review. Anything contained here probably isn’t true- unless it is. Happy April Fool’s week!
By Kira Stussy
The sun came out a couple of times in the last few weeks, bringing with it a strange phenomenon never before seen in the state of Washington.
“Their shirts stayed on, I didn’t believe what I was seeing…or more accurately, what I wasn’t seeing,” said senior Ashley Hannan.
It is well documented through all forms of social media that in past years, once the temperature climbs above 50 degrees and the sun peeks out from behind the clouds, the shirts of every semi-athletic male student seem to fly off their bodies.
But not this year.
To everyone’s shock, when the sun last came out, not a single bare chest was seen.
“I don’t know where they all went. We’ve been telling them for years that nobody is really looking, but they’ve never heard us before. Why here? Why now?” Hannan pondered.
Nobody knows where the shirtless-ees went, or the reason they are gone.
Further investigation is needed to conclude anything on this never before seen occurrence.